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Dear Alpaca,
My name is, uh, "Janice", and I am (I think) a pretty easy going person. But I'm friends with a band I'll call "Macaroni and Cheese", and sometimes they drive me crazy! Whenever they visit upstate New York, they crash at my house, eat my food, drink my booze, and do god knows what in my pool. What should I do???
Dear "Janice" Suck it up, woman. And give the pool a major shock treatment, right now. Better yet, drain and reline it. God may not know what they did in your pool, but I've got a pretty good idea.
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Do you have a question for The Alpaca?
Email us with your concerns and we'll forward it to him. He may have the answers you need! Or he may just mock you publicly. Yeah, that sounds about right.
"Kicks Dear Abby's ass!"
--Rent-a-Beat
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